"A Thousand Words"

A Thousand Words: A review by Evan
In the movie "A Thousand Words," fast talking literary agent Jack McCall (Eddie Murphy) can only say one thousand words and then he will die.... for some reason. I could not express my disdain for this movie in a thousand words, frankly I could rant forever, but I shall keep this small.
1) Plot: 5/25: The premise behind this movie is easily understandable but lacks any sort of consistency or clout. In the film Murphy insults some Indian guru who puts a curse on him. Gurus, curses, Eddie Murphy, fairly cliche and predictable right? WRONG...wait never mind you know how the movie ends the second the movie starts. At times Murphy would refuse to talk to save his; Job, family, wife, relationships etc. He will however swear at the smallest inconvenience or presumably wherever the writers thought it would look funny.

I've just ruined my career... TIME FOR ANOTHER POOP JOKE

2) Acting 10/50: This is pretty much an Eddie Murphy solo show...which is a really bad thing. Given Murphy's latest flop, Norbit, one can guess where his career is headed, If you guessed the garbage you would be right. He had a few moments where you could see the old Eddie Murphy coming out again, but that was immediately squashed by the unfunny juvenile Murphy. The ensemble was decent for such a flop, but nothing to  be excited over.
3) Directorial Points 5/25: Dear god! Where do I even begin? First this film was directed Brian Roberts who has brought us Norbit, Jack and Jill and Click, movies no one has EVER liked. Once again he has made a bad movie which insults film making as a whole and makes me want to self immolate. The only thing he brings to this movie is a polished look.
Finishing thoughts: Do not see this movie, avoid at all costs. All this atrocity will do is make you wish suicide so you don't have to suffer through this abomination. Frankly Eddie Murphy and co. should see about retiring or euthanasia
Total Score: 20/100
Rotton Tomatoes: 0/100
IMDB: 43/100
Metacritic: 23/100
Roger Ebert: 0 Stars
Leonard Maltin: BOMB