And we're back!

Long delay...okay I admit it, we really slacked off. I'll make things up to you. You know how our last script had a flawed premise. Well we fixed that and added 15% more killing per page so have fun with that.

Upcoming Reviews

Reviews which will be published soon... Men In Black III, Prometheus and Snow White and the Huntsmen

The Movie

Walked out of my first movie ever. It wasn't the movies fault, it wasn't good or bad (more of a "meh" all around) but the quartet of cacophonous commentators seated directly behind me. I arrived at the theatre roughly 15 minutes before the film started. I sat down and did what every movie-goer is expected to do...shut the f*** up and watch the screen. Then the posse arrived in all of their overweight American splendor. They started to talk immediately...about nothing. I learned that John was trying to lose what and that Alyssa heard things about the movie, but she didn't remember where, and the conversations only got better. They quacked through The Dark Knight Rises (bad), The The Amazing Spiderman (worse) and to round it all off they talked OVER THE HOBBIT TRAILER. You may know me as being a "douche" so I leaned backward and said (Verbatim), "Hey buddy, can you keep it down, I want to hear the movie." The fatter one, whom I had affectionately maned El Tubbo by this point, mulled my comment over in his engorged head and replied, "Yeah, whatever faggot." I didn't feel as though I had earned the faggot remark, but I kept my rebuttal in check. *This is all before the movie begins mind you* I'm to angry to watch Kristin Stewert and company act, and I am secretly staring at El Tubbo as he lifts a bucket of popcorn to his face and eats it, the same way a mule would enjoy his oats. El Tubbo's girlfriend, (whom we will refer to from this point as Ms. ClearlyHasCrabs), taps him on the shoulder and starts to massage his belly while whispering sweet nothings into his ear, as he violates a tub of popcorn. The Fantastic Four behind me had ceased talking when out of the blue El Tubbo yells, "BELLA HAS HUGE BOOBS" (A. Wrong movie B. No..no she doesn't). So the talking immediately restarted among El Tubbo, Ms. ClearlyHasCrabs, John and Alyssa. This continues for forty minutes, at which point I again turn around and say, "As much as I enjoy your rendition of Siskel And Ebert commentary, please stop". Needless to say, I was way out of line, and I deserved a repercussion for ruining Snow White and the Huntsmen for them. So, they poured a soda down my back. While fuming in the sweet, sticky syrup which is Mountain Dew (non-diet I would hazard to guess) I stood up and moved to the front of the theatre, I had paid 8.50 for this ticket and I was going to enjoy the movie, so help me god. Then the gaggle followed me and talked LOUDER. I was trying to ignore them until Ms. ClearlyHasCrabs pulls out her phone and CALLS SOMEONE to talk. I was done, I had already decided to leave by this point. So I stood up, turned around and said, very sternly I may add, "There are two rules in theatres, don't talk to each other, don't talk on phones. You all have broken those two commandments which have been in place since the invention of THE MOVIE THEATRE (looking back I should have included cell phone as well, but I was on a roll). THE FOUR OF YOU ARE WHY EVERYONE HATES AMERICA. And if I had a choice between being in this theatre for another minute or being waterboarded, I WOULD CHOOSE THE LATTER!" Then I stormed out of the movie with my head held high and my shirt smelling like poverty and southern drinking habits, just knowing that I was going home to complain on the internet. Thank you for your time.

So...erm... sorry for the lack of posts, I have been a little bit lazy and Joe and I have been tightening the screenplay up in preparation in the summer. To show how sorry I am here's a picture of a kitten. Also I promised a review of The Avengers, but by now most of you don't need a review. As critics and friends have told you, The Avengers is AMAZING, 93/100 it's orgasmic err... really good

AVENGERS

A review of "The Avengers" is coming soon...

*spoiler* IT WAS AWESOME

Not Movie Related

This isn't movie related, but it deserves mention. Today on the Fourth of May, founding Beastie Boy, Adam Yauch (MCA) died. Normally when rappers die, no one cares but MCA is special. He, Adrock and Mike-D broke down the color barrier in hip-hop and made rap fun. Instead of rapping about gangster life and murder, the Beastie Boys rapped about having fun and going to White Castle. MCA also directed the majority of the Beastie Boy music videos and was a primary lyricist. He was also very distinctive in his raps as he had a huge booming bass voice. MCA made millions in the music system, however MCA did not squander his wealth either, he has donated a spectacular sum of money to Free Tibet and even met the Dalai Lama. He was a well known philanthropist and an all around nice guy. He will be missed.
(By the way I dare you to watch this video and not smile.)

Joe's Most Hated Movie... Ever

City of Angels
(A Rant By Joe)

Starring Nicholas Cage and Meg Ryan

Frankly, I was waiting for Hellboy to kill this thing

Let me just start off as saying that I hate Meg Ryan, I like Nicholas Cage (I don't think he's great but I like a couple of his movies).  I saw this movie the other day on HDNet movies, and I thought wow... Meg Ryan, Nicholas Cage... one actor I semi like and one that I absolutely hate, this might level out into a decently crappy movie. Boy-o-boy was I wrong, it was terrible.  Now I've heard of willing suspension of disbelief, and most of the time I'm pretty good at willingly suspending MY disbelief, but just the simple fact that Meg Ryan is a goddamn heart surgeon is just one of the most ridiculous things that I personally have ever heard of, considering the fact that she couldn't get a face left done without it making her look like The Creature from the Black Lagoon. What I did like about it was that Nick Cage was an angel who came to earth to booze and sex it up.  That alone would have made a great movie; but no, Nick has to go and fall in love with eternal airhead Meg Ryan.  You know, I don't even know why I don't like Meg Ryan, in some aspects, she's actually a better actor than Nick Cage, but at least Nick Cage is a badass and not just some dumb bimbo, who shows up to whatever she's paid to do, er Nick Cage is no bimbo. Whatever happened to her?  I don't think I've seen her in a movie since 1998 when this one came out.  Granted I don't ever go out of my way to find and watch Meg Ryan movies, being on account of the fact that I hate her, but I don't recall having seen any commercials for any movies starring, co-starring, or even casting Meg Ryan as an extra in recent years, although that may have something to do with the fact that every time I see a commercial for a movie with the plot of the general genre of movie which Meg Ryan stars in, I tend to change the channel and go back to watching "South Park" or something.  Any way, when I got to the point when Nick kissed Meg for the first time I literally yelled at the TV... "NO NICK!!!!! DON'T DO IT, YOUR RUINING YOUR CAREER, AND YOU COULD TOTALLY GET BETTER THAN THAT NASTY HARLEQUIN, ALSO "WINDTALKERS" WAS AN AWESOME MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!"  To which my mom, who was upstairs watching, I don't know... ummmm "The Bachelor" or some other awful tripe (by the way, I all-encompassingly hate "The Bachelor", it's the tackiest, cheesiest, and mind numbing show on TV other than maybe "Grey's Anatomy") "JOE SHUT UP, I'M WATCHING WHATEVER GARBAGE I'M WATCHING AND YOU NEED TO KEEP IT DOWN!" (Obviously I paraphrased slightly there on account of me not remembering exactly what she was watching).  To which I responded, "I CAN'T MOM, NICK CAGE JUST RUINED HIS CAREER... 14 YEARS AGO!!!!" Anyway, the point is  that I hate Meg Ryan with a BURNING passion, but I hate this movie more.
Thank you for your time.
Love,
Joe
p.s. (Meg, I hope this doesn't ruin our secret love affair, call me!)