*Spoilers*
So my first idea for Banes on a Plane failed miserably. Legendary Pictures refused to host me for an e-conference and when I emailed my proposal to Christopher Nolan he quickly responded with. (and I quote) "The worst idea since Here Comes Honey Boo Boo." But who cares what that guy thinks. Unperturbed I sent my proposal to an up
and coming directer whom everyone respects... Mr. Michael Bay. He agreed to direct my Batman movie but asked if all of the characters could be played by scantily clad women and if Bane could be a Transformer. We had creative differences. Then out of no where I got a phone call from THE GREATEST SUPERHERO MOVIE DIRECTOR EVER! Mr. Joel Schumacher. He agreed to direct if I re-wrote my original idea into something more family-friendly. So here we go Joel. (He loved the nipple-suits by the way)
The Trailer:
*Fades from black* Bane survives the events of the previous movie and is sitting on a curb looking very upset. He laments the fact that his plan to blow up Gotham failed, "I am sad that my plan to blow up Gotham with a nuclear bomb failed." said Bane. He begins to cry and the tears rupture some wires inside of his mask causing it to *comically* catch fire. Bane is on fire and is flailing around and a mysterious stranger stomps out the fire on Bane's face. The stranger is none other than Mr. Freeze (played by none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger). Freeze looks Bane in the face and says, "You neeed to dafeet da Batmahn." Bane replies that he can't he is too sad. Freeze tells Bane that he is willing to help train Bane, Scarecrow, Calender Man, the Joker and the Riddler in order to defeat Batman in the one place he is vulnerable...the slow-pitch softball field. Now there is a montage of softball training sessions followed by a sneak peek of Batman under-hand pitching the ball to Bane, Bane scrunches his face up and swings at the ball. When he makes contact the screen turns to black.
Tagline: They're in it to win it.
Name of the Movie: The Bad News Banes
p.s. Bane is played by George W. Bush in this movie and Rebecca Black is composing an orchestral score. All extras are played by Nicholas Cage.
The Trailer:
*Fades from black* Bane survives the events of the previous movie and is sitting on a curb looking very upset. He laments the fact that his plan to blow up Gotham failed, "I am sad that my plan to blow up Gotham with a nuclear bomb failed." said Bane. He begins to cry and the tears rupture some wires inside of his mask causing it to *comically* catch fire. Bane is on fire and is flailing around and a mysterious stranger stomps out the fire on Bane's face. The stranger is none other than Mr. Freeze (played by none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger). Freeze looks Bane in the face and says, "You neeed to dafeet da Batmahn." Bane replies that he can't he is too sad. Freeze tells Bane that he is willing to help train Bane, Scarecrow, Calender Man, the Joker and the Riddler in order to defeat Batman in the one place he is vulnerable...the slow-pitch softball field. Now there is a montage of softball training sessions followed by a sneak peek of Batman under-hand pitching the ball to Bane, Bane scrunches his face up and swings at the ball. When he makes contact the screen turns to black.
Tagline: They're in it to win it.
Name of the Movie: The Bad News Banes
p.s. Bane is played by George W. Bush in this movie and Rebecca Black is composing an orchestral score. All extras are played by Nicholas Cage.
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